People get divorced for a number of reasons for people to get divorced and chances are that the causes are anything but simple. One thing is for sure-divorce is almost never the fault of only one person. Both parties work together to create a situation that eventually leads to the "causes of divorce." But causes for divorce don't turn up without warning. Usually, though, the married couple doesn't realize what is going on until it is too late.
Here are a few of the underlying causes of divorce:
Lack of communication: This is one of the leading causes of divorce. No marriage can survive without communication. Unfortunately many people get married before they learn how to effectively communicate with each other and end up bottling up emotions until one of them explodes and the landslide toward divorce begins. It is this lack of communication that leads to people getting married without talking about what each of them really wants from the marriage. Because nothing is talked about beforehand, the spouses have trouble bringing up issues that might otherwise be trivial. Before long, they find they aren't communicating at all and one tiny thing will end their marriage.
Unrealistic Expectations: Every person has an idea of what they think the "perfect" marriage should be. They think they know how life will be once they are married and when it turns out that real life does not match their expectations, they get disappointed and, instead of facing the reality of every day life, they think that something is wrong with the marriage. Often, instead of working through these expectations and coming to acceptance, people are more willing to dissolve the marriage and keep looking for the fairy tale.
These larger causes of divorce are what lead to the causes of divorce that get put in the divorce papers:
Infidelity
Financial Problems
Lack of Maturity
Sexual Incompatibility
Religious beliefs
Lifestyle differences
Abandonment
Lack of commitment.
Falling out of love
Insistence of sticking to the "traditional" roles
Controlling behavior
Intellectual Incompatibility
Money Issues
Abuse is something that cannot be accounted for. It isn't caused by lack of communication or unrealistic expectations and it isn't a symptom of something else being wrong. If abuse is happening, then serious counseling needs to happen for both spouses or the marriage needs to end. There is no excuse for abuse and nobody should put up with it in the name of "preserving the marriage."
There are lots causes of divorce, some might seem more trivial than others but almost all of the reasons listed on divorce papers can be attributed to a larger problem. Make sure that you communicate with your partner about what your expectations are for marriage and about whom you are as a person. Don't pretend to be somebody you aren't to make the other person happy and don't pretend to be happy when you are not. Of all the causes of divorce, dishonesty is the biggest cause of them all.
It May Not Be Too Late To Win Them Back
